CHAPTER FOUR
“My one need is
humility”. – p. 41
My spiritual life
For several weeks this chapter
inspired me in numerous ways, but I couldn’t find a cohesive thought about it.
Until today- it hit me. The chapter title, ‘Humility in the Teaching of Jesus’,
inspired me to apply the title to myself- humility
in the teaching of Amy. What am I teaching about humility, explicitly and
implicitly, to myself and to my children? Is what Jesus taught so ingrained in
me that it naturally flows from every interaction and thought and deed? Am I
seeking after humility at all, really?
Leadership within CC
In the same way, am I walking in
humility in such a way that it is obviously demonstrated (to my God) in my every day life and
decisions as a Director and parent in CC? I have no final answers at this time;
just a mounting list of probing questions.
Literature
“Thy life’s a miracle. Speak yet again”. –King Lear (IV, Vi, 55)
“Life is a Miracle”, by Wendell Berry, is my
favorite read right now, and it just so
happens to be full of conversations of humility. In the first chapter, the
author refers to a landmark work which he has returned to many times in the
last forty-five years, Shakespeare’s tragedy of King Lear. Berry discusses a subplot in which the Earl of
Gloucester becomes blind and in his great despair, attempts suicide.
“Gloucester’s
attempted suicide is really an attempt to recover control over his life- a
control he believes (mistakenly) that he once had and has lost:
O you mighty gods!
This world I do renounce, and in your sights
Shake patiently my great affliction off.
(IV, Vi, 34-36)
The nature
of his despair is delineated in his belief that he can control his life by
killing himself, which is a paradox we will meet again three and a half centuries
later at the extremity of industrial warfare when we believed that we could
“save” by means of destruction.
Later, under
guidance of his son, Gloucester prays a prayer that is exactly the opposite to
his previous one-
You ever-gentle gods, take my breath from me;
Let not my worser spirit tempt me again
To die before you please
(IV, Vi, 213-215)
-in which he
renounces control over his life. He has given up is life as an understood
possession, and has taken it back as miracle and mystery. And his reclamation
as a human being is acknowledged…
It seems
clear that humans cannot significantly reduce or mitigate the dangers inherent
in their use of life by accumulating more information or better theories or by
achieving greater predictability or more caution in their scientific and
industrial work. To treat life as less than a miracle is to give up on it.” Berry, pg 10
I love this book and these themes on so many
levels. I am reminded that my life is a miracle and a gift, and I do not have,
nor should I have, any measure of control. Walking in this truth is peace.
And I am reminded, as I teach and experience
life with my kids, I ought to pass on an awe-inspired love for the Creator and
his created things… pursuing scientific method and knowledge and wisdom is
useless without proper placement and perspective of ourselves. I don’t want to
lead my kids to believe that they should aspire to know everything. It’s not
possible or even righteous.
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